I was walking down the street one night at the end of a conference, it was 2015 and talking about my hounds. My boss turned to me and said "I don't think you are prepared for the day they go and you are going to be out of the office for two weeks." I responded with "I don't think you are prepared for the day they go and I will be out of the office for two weeks." I've never forgotten this conversation, because there is no preparing for life or death.
It is 2021 and I'm still not prepared and they are still with me. I'm not blind to what is inevitable. I understand the reality of life. But that doesn't mean that when the time comes, when the moment happens that we can really ever truly say "Well, I knew it would happen." And then go about living just the same again.
Disappointment is a certainty we will all face, we prepare ourselves for difficult conversations unsure what the outcome will be. We will either be pleasantly surprised or negatively affected. We plan what we are going to say, we imagine which way it will go. We wash our face, brush our teeth, put on a nice shirt and prepare for what is to come. None of those things actually prepare your emotional armor.
Wanting to hear good news and hearing it doesn't mean we won't react, either. When it hits that heart chakra, we are bound to get up and cheer. Expecting the worst news and having it delivered does not mean we take it in stride. That too slams into the heart space and our physical reactions are, for most of us, instinctual and unavoidable.
I make my bed each morning so that I can unmake it each night as I crawl into it. That's life, making things nice in order to make it messy.
I get up every morning and brush my teeth, make my bed, workout so hard my ears are sweating and then I have coffee, and shower and hours later find my way back into that made bed. Preparing to take it apart, preparing to be broken apart is just life.
Am I ready? No. Am I delusional about reality? Again, No. Have I prepared myself to be broken apart? That's impossible. But you know what is being prepared? Putting me back together. I've done the work on understanding not getting over things but g
etting through them. I have also done the work to ensure the people I invite into my inner circle are standing by, armed with love to pick up broken pieces from whatever caused the shattering in the first place. And also, just so you are aware, they are also standing by with love to celebrate whatever joys, unexpected or not, I have in my life too.
That's how you prepare for living and life's certainties and unplanned surprises. You make your theoretical bed with love, support and kindness with people who will comfort you when it gets messy.