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Belay On?

I'm easy going, I'm laidback, I'm chill, I'm available, I'm personable, I'm an empath, I'm sympathetic, I'm a stand for what I believe to be right, I'll listen, but I am not, without a shadow of a doubt, your door mat.

Sometimes, people forget how far your rope extends. Sometimes, they like to see if it will bend in directions you had not expected. Sometimes, they'll see if you will use it to leave them out to dry or hang yourself in moments of desperation. The rope is tied tight between myself and others, it is tethered in places, frayed in some areas, some have been mended and some have just withered or fallen away.

Have you paid attention to the rope that binds you to others? Is it wrapped around your wrist multiple times and at the other the end of it, a thread of it is tied around their pinky? Is it evenly distributed? Is it made to tether a tanker to a dock, a fish to a line or barely holding on to the last button of your favorite shirt that once fit loosely?

I have taken a look at the threads that bind me lately and noticed which ones are evenly frayed and distributed and which ones I am the one holding on so tight that the only place it is left to unravel is on the door mat, or my back to which they might use to step on.

Are you sick of the metaphors or have you reconsidered your ropes and what they look like? I have considered this lately because of just where I am in life. With everything I have experienced in the last 18 months, I've taken stock of all of it. I've also considered it because I have watched people have an expectation of who I am based on what they perceive of me to be. I read a book once that said "be willing to betray others' expectations of you, to be true to yourself". And so I have, and for some, I've watched the picture they have of me shatter and the weight of their expectations lift off my back. Some relationships grew because of it, and some of them came to an end in light of it.

I'm not saying I'm an expert at tightrope walking. I've let go too. I've made my expectations of others come before who they actually are inside. I mean we are all guilty of this, but I've also decided that when one person drops the rope, the other person can drop it too.

If you have ever gone rope climbing, there is a saying you have to say to the person on the other end of your rope before you head up the side of the wall or cliff, which is "Belay On?" and when the person you are tethered to is ready, they will respond with "On Belay". And this means, you are tide securely to each other and your trust in them is firm and their trust in you too. So maybe, just check before you go, is the line secure?

securing the line before climbing
Rope Climbing

PS: Neither of these butts are mine or known to me. This is a stock image.

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