About once a month I put a conditioning mask in my hair. If I have time I'll leave it in for 20 minutes, if I have leisure time, I'll leave it in for hours. I love the way it makes my hair feel; and assume that the longer I leave it, the more affect it will have on my messy mane.
I was thinking about this in comparison with how we do so many things in our lives, or maybe it is just me, bare with me. The longer we leave things, the more they will just change over time on their own. From work to relationships to check engine lights to bags of lettuce we keep buying but keep wilting...the more time that passes in which we continue to buy them, eventually, we will eat them, right?
That relationship that was not a good fit, the longer we stayed, the more we hoped that square peg would eventually squeeze itself into that round hole. The check engine light that we hope was a glitch, the more we ignore it, the more it will get tired of showing itself to us and just do the internal fix without the external cost of a mechanic. And the job, the higher the stress, the bigger the complication, the greater the boredom, the longer the movement takes to get a promotion...You get the picture.
It's a bit of a conundrum, wanting things to right themselves without doing the work to right them first. Have you looked at things you have let go for a lot longer than necessary because the effort to change them, fix them, get them fixed, move on, go through the emotions, start over; seems more daunting a task than you are ready to tackle?
I do it a lot. Since I started living with a partner for the first time in my adult life, I have started to notice how many things I let go "unnoticeable". Little things like unfinished painted stairs, a half finished glass wall in a remodeled bathroom, a rotting deck...moving onto streaking windshield wipers, low tire pressure, caked on pollen...Letting the recycling box overflow outside for weeks at a time...moving on to not growing at my job...even down to how many times a year I get my hair cut.
Out of sight, out of mind. If it isn't affecting someone else, I can ignore it for a long period of time. I find comfort in just looking the other way. I did it in a few relationships, I have done it in a few jobs, I have had to in some friendships too. I've definitely ignored a few check engine lights in my life and kept going, out of fear, hope, exhaustion, laziness or plain and simple, just chose not to see it.
I'm checking into those check engine lights lately, seeing how brightly they are shining and choosing which ones are most important to tackle. I'll condition my mane this week. I've been speaking openly about those things of which I was trying to ignore. I bought a can crusher, to minimize the recycling overload. I donated yoga mats of which I was holding onto from my business that I built, and that covid let crumble. I am even getting my hair trimmed on quarterly basis and the conditioning mask doesn't have to work so hard anymore. I'm showing others my check engine light is on in areas of my life, instead of ignoring it.
When was the last time you checked your engine?