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I don’t have a secret to tell you

Because I’m not embarrassed by my choice. In honor of International Women's Day, I thought I would share with you why I made the choice to not have children.

The reason is because I don't want children of my own.

It's that simple.

We are in this society where everyone wants a reason for everything and most people have an opinion of it too. Especially as women.

People want to know why we have made choices for our life, because it is different than the choices they have made for theirs. But sometimes there is no explanation other than because I want to or because I don't.

I'm a good human, a good woman, a good daughter, sister, aunt, dog mom, friend, even a good girlfriend if I commit to someone. Making the choice to be childless is neither sad nor disruptive And doesn’t negate any of those things. It doesn’t mean anything except that I don’t want to have children of my own.

I had a male boss tell me one day I would change my mind, that one day I would want kids. He didn't agree with my reasoning, and thought because he had kids who were having kids, he could say that to me. I had a friend tell me once not to worry, one day I would have kids, mistaking my statement for sorrow. I had a female colleague tell me I would question my decision when I was 38, because that's when she did. I didn’t. I had people so close to me question my decision because they thought I would make a great mom. And I agree, I'm sure I would, no doubt. I'm sure I would also live if I bungee jumped, it doesn't mean I want to do that either.

We have potential to be whomever we want to be. We have the option to make choices for our lives, our bodies and our futures that others dream about.

So again, in honor of International Women's Day, I stand with women who have made choices that are different, the same, inspiring, questionable, grand or small. I stand with the women who’ve made choices because they want to and because they don’t, and that’s the only excuse you need to understand when you made it.

The choices we make for our lives, are not for you to understand, but for us to respect.

I wear a mask to protect myself and others from getting COVID-19.

I also wear a mask to prevent myself from over-explaining my choices. Too bad my eyes never hide my disappointment in being questioned.

Your questions don’t break me, I am joyful in my choices.


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